despite everything – it did (and will!) turn out to be a great day!
I was FINALLY able to schedule a session with the personal trainer. She’s also a physiotherapist which makes her both qualified and skilled in working with individuals who are recovering from injuries and such. This is a huge bonus for me! I was confident in her and happy to be working with her.
Shortly into our session however, she noticed fatigue was setting into my body. She was right of course — but I’m always (still) amazed at how they can see and feel these things — especially when I think I am hiding it quite well. Obviously, not quite as well as I think! One day I will learn nothing gets by highly-skilled professionals 😉
We shortened the session hoping to alleviate any pushback but unfortunately, and much to my disappointment, it did not. That brain pain consisting of the “toxic brain” and “burning brain” thing was ever so present during the following days.
My Heart Rate Value (HRV) was significantly higher the next couple of days too.
While this was a huge disappointment, there were some positives. There were no “flu-like symptoms” or “swollen lymph nodes” (PEM) that usually accompany this. This IS an improvement which I will gladly take.
The brain pain persisted longer than usual and after a few days of it, I was done with everything.
- Done with being sick
- Done with not improving fast enough
- Done with these awful brain pain things
- Done with working so hard, trying so many things
- Just Done!!
As I rested quietly trying to shake my funky mood and rid my body of the pain, I remembered something a friend had recently sent to me. It was about a theory she’d come across — the “POLYVAGAL THEORY” — and how her friend had cured herself using it. A year ago, she was bed-bound and suicidal but is now 98% cured. She is active — going for seven-mile bike rides and joining a gym where she recently completed a weight-lifting routine. This helped cure her and my friend was encouraging me to check into it too.
Now, I get many “try this” messages. Sometimes they work, and sometimes they don’t, but the hours of required research are always time-consuming and overwhelming. Is this “try this thing” legitimate? Will it work for me? How much does it cost? Sometimes the payout for all those research hours, which require using my already limited energy, is the door being slammed shut with a resounding, “NO!”.
Sometimes though they are extremely helpful thing, bringing me healing and relief.
Whichever way it ends up going, I am always thankful for each and every suggestion that comes my way. It means people are thinking of me and genuinely want to help me. Who knows.. perhaps their suggestion/idea will be the golden ticket that works.
On this day, my pain was high, my mood was less-than-happy (to put it mildly) but I wanted something else to think about so I decided to search into it a bit. I had never heard of it before this, so figured it might be difficult to find. Boy was I wrong — a bazillion sites and videos came up. Not sure which to choose, I used the ‘highly’ scientific method of selecting a video by choosing the one with the guy I thought looked the least shady. That’s a good way to decide — right?? 😁
I watched three videos then decided to take a break and scroll through my FB feed. Imagine my surprise when a photo of my docs at a seminar they were attending came into my feed. That alone wasn’t surprising but the fact the seminar they were at was on the VERY topic — the one my friend had suggested and the videos I had just been watching, was. 😲 It kind of freaked me out actually because what are the chances something I had never heard of before were coming together and showing up in several areas all at exactly the same time? All of a sudden some very large dots were being connected.
Hmmm..
To further the weirdness of this whole thing, this friend sent me another message during the time I was watching the videos and scrolling my FB further advising if I did look into this theory, to watch videos by Dr. Stephen Porges, as he was top in the field. A quick check back and guess what? The videos I had just watched were by this exact Dr.! My method of choosing the “least shady looking guy” turned out to be this top Dr. and the one she was suggesting. Who knew? What are the chances?
Double hmmm….
With so many dots being connected, all of a sudden from many different areas, I am excited to look into this theory further now. For starters, I know it’s a “thing” and won’t need to waste my limited energy trying to determine that. That’s a huge first step out of the way.
And — If it has worked for some, it can work for us too. I am so thankful for my friend and for her bringing this to my attention. I am looking forward to the further info she has to share as she works through this program.
Hang in there my friends. We’ve got this!
And remember — When all of this is behind us — It truly IS going to be a GREAT day!
Crushing The Chaos 