What do you do when your friends disappoint you?
Relationships and friendships are interesting, aren’t they?
They can be fulfilling when they go well and they can be draining when they don’t.
A few months ago, a person who I considered a friend and thought I could trust, pulled a pretty upsetting stunt. It left me in shock as I tried to understand what she had done and why. It was something I had put a lot of effort into and her repayment was to trample on as if it was yesterday’s garbage.
To complicate matters further, she is part of a small social group I belong to. There are seven of us, including myself. Everyone in this group gets along well and we’re all respectful of each other, which makes her hurtful actions, even more difficult to comprehend.
I worked through what she had done. I talked to her about it, forgave her and thought it was over.
Until now that is.
As if to add insult to injury, she’s furthered this hurtful act in an even larger way and went quite social about it.
I am still working through this one and am not yet sure how I will proceed exactly. It’s all still extremely raw for me, so to start, I’ve I’ve removed myself from the group. I need to step back, take some time to process this through in order to have clear direction on how to proceed. Emotional abuse has been part of my past but I’ve worked through it quite well so know I will work through this one as well.
Some helpful tips I’ve picked up long the way:
- We teach people how to treat us by what we allow them to do to us.
- The things we allow will continue if we don’t put a stop to them.
- Boundaries are not only helpful, they’re necessary and healthy. Don’t be afraid to set some.
- Everyone makes mistakes and because of that we all need forgiveness.
- The best way to receive forgiveness and show sincerity is changed behaviour
- Unchanged behaviour though, becomes empty words and broken promises, which brings us back to the beginning. We teach people how to treat us and if we allow them to continue on their chosen path, it ends up dragging us through the mud. We have the power to stop that cycle.
The choice is ours and the outcome is in our hands. How will you proceed? How will I proceed?
Time will tell but one thing I know for sure:
— You’ve Got This!
— I’ve Got This!